Finding Balance

Well November has come and gone. It was a busy month for me I must say. I started to volunteer in a local elementary school  in second grade. I love it! I used to work in the same school years ago and it feels great to be back and be with the kids, helping & encouraging them daily. It requires time and some days I stay through the entire day. Well November I did just that and became very busy. I also offered to volunteer for the week long book fair. It was so much fun watching the excitement of kids looking and buying new books. I met some great people in the library as well and saw some past coworkers while doing it and that was great too. But with all the greatness, fun and time I put in I noticed something, I was giving so much of my time of myself to others and other areas I was slacking on giving myself of the time I needed for myself. The time I needed to stay focused and on top of my monthly goals I set for myself. 

I don't want to come off sounding selfish, as that is the last thing I believe I am. I think of myself as a very giving person, not in the sense of giving things but of me (my time & heart). I love doing things for others. It's been my nature since I could ever remember. 

When I was just a very little girl I would help my godmother fold the laundry, so what I didn't know it was the dirty pile. Lol.  By age 11 I was helping in the care of my terminally ill step dad while my mom was working to keep things going. I started to babysit at the age of 10, it wasn't to make money it was just to help others get out and my bonus was I get to play with the little ones and maybe make a few dollars here and there. As the years went on I've been in many job positions that I was able to give of my time, love and care such as working as a paraprofessional, home daycare provider and as a home caregiver to the elderly. All of these positions I loved because I was able to be who I am and give of my heart. My most favorite role was and is being a mom, my boys were and are my life and through the years have required so much of my time with homework, school events and just being present in their lives. 

With all the giving of myself over the years to job positions and being a dedicated mom & wife something came as a cost, time for me. I don't mean time to get my nails or hair done, or time to hang out with the girls or even time to do what I want, none of those things mattered to me. However I do mean time in the sense of taking care of me. My health issues started years ago and I just put them to the side. I over looked so many times for so many years on what was going on with me. I was the type of person that was so focused on others that I forgot about me, my health and well being. 

With all that being said it was in July I started to put me first. Not the selfish me but the me who needs and must get well to still be here for others. I was doing great for months until November came. It has been an eye opener for me to see how quickly you can fall into old habits or ways. Although I don't think giving of yourself as a habit nor one that is a negative one either really but I do think I need to find the right balance. 

Just like finding the right combination and balance in my diet and exercise regimen I need to find a healthy balance on me time verses the giving of me time.  The reflection on my Novembers goals will explain why I need to find a better balance. 

Reflection or should I say confession

# 1 For the first time since setting my walking goal inAugust  I didn't even come close.  I only got in 49.5 miles. Tsk tsk. 

# 2 Because I didn't walk as much my attempts for my sprints were pitiful. At rate Ill never learn to run a mile without stopping. 

# 3 I went strong in the first week with trying PIYO and other yoga poses then things turned, I got busy and I (to put it plainly) put it off. 

# 4 I lost 2 of the 5 I set for. No one is  to blame but myself.  If I want result I must put in the time. 

# 5  Blog 7 times! Yikes!!! I only fully completed one that I posted. I started a few topics but never finished them to post. Sorry. They are still in the works so I hope to get them up in the coming weeks. 

All in all I've learned a lot about myself. 

Mostly I need to find a healthy balance when it comes to giving of myself (funny I'm writing this but also participating in my churches biggest out reach ministries for the Christmas season for 6 nights). Because of what I've learned the past month I will be getting in all my committed goals and challenges no matter what even on the days I need to be at the church.  I also have learned that it doesn't make me a selfish person when I find time to take care of myself. Whether I give myself an hour and a half to walk five miles, three hours to walk ten or some quiet time to do research, logging results & blogging  I'm doing it.  

Comeback in the coming days and I'll post my December monthly goals and I'll show my holiday wellness challenges I hopped on board to do for the month to keep things fun & different. 

Well wishes, (((Hugs))) & Prayers,

Janine